I dread Monday, it always somehow leads to cabbing which is a good $20.00 bucks flying. This particular dreadful morning however finally led me to my well-practiced stuck up line, tat I have been waiting to use. Izzit my fault that you do not have change for $50.00? Hello, My job is to make sure that I have enough to pay you and your job is to keep change for it. So what if you just started work? first day driving a cab? Can you imagine walking into a fine dinning place and they tell you they cant process your order as they don't have enough change to break that $100 note that you have? Izzit my freaking duty to make sure I have enough small notes to take a cab when I am running late for work? Tsk. Pissed off with Monday mornings and lousy cab driver with stuck up attitudes. The bitterness in me just makes this morning more efficient.
Passing thought. I WANT TO WATCH SPIDERMAN COS IT HAS VENOM WHO IS WAY MORE COOL THAN WEAKO SPIDEY. HE DIDN'T SCREW HIM BEST FRIEND GIRL AND KILLED HIS FATHER LIKE OUR WEB_SPINNING HERO. Still we love the Gymnastic of it don't we?
Thought Past.
what is it with attitude problem Clients? Hello, yes you pay a fortune to have dinner here but hey? you dun freaking pay me!? My boss does so what makes you think that you can treat me like a dog(no offense Joey & Black Jack) and I will go with watever your demand at a dirt cheap price? Dirt Cheap price only exist when my self-developed,non-salesperson like conscience tells me that I should do something extra for you not when you freaking demand for it. People like this makes killing easy. There is a price to pay for being Bitchy and you better be rich enough for me if you wanna show the attituditional Problemical me. Bitch Slap.
My first and loyal customer of my consultation service is demanding for more.She needs more help.
Anyway thanks babe for being there for me when I need ya! All the nagging and scolding works most of the time..Erm.. Well sometime..Alrite Alrite! but I appreciate the efforts k?
BTW you should start to really EAT MORE LAr! So skinny...like tat who wants to go play pool with you anymore...Worrying lor....Why is everyone around me like not eating? The world is gonna be taken over by skeletons I tell you.
Still waiting for the up part of the roller coaster...Either tat or I wont be going up anymore...
Play with e majestic @ 2:51 PM
Thursday, April 26, 2007
::259:: De Humble
The pass 2 weeks have been a hell of an emotional roller coaster.Everyone around me seems to be falllin apart at such a rapid speed that it is confirmed to be pretty much outta control. My world has been spinning so fast that I no longer know which direction it is heading towards. When I look into the mirror one morning I even wonder who the person in reflection.Kinda freaky. Someone press the break button please.
For those who offered new direction and wake up calls. Thank you. If I could I would.Soon.
List of things to do I need to play Pool! I need to go shopping! I need to get a new blogskin I need to update in proper the list in my Ipod I wanna have good food! I wanna waste time and relax in laughter I wanna watch Mid Summer night Dream in fort cannning!
I need to be arrogant again
Dun Leave me high.... Dun Leave me dry..
Play with e majestic @ 11:52 AM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
::258:: Pool!
Today I had a strange sudden urge and brought my long-time-no-wear diamond cross out and not amazingly I broke it...Major Bummer..I might just be as careless as I refuse to admit...=(
Went for Eventless shopping with Michy though she got herself a very cheena Hp pouch which was not really made is fantastic quality but well it was nice and enough for the moment lar..there after she dropped her phone @ the BBQ and thus the cover jus came in handy. She was the main enforcer of the "NG day" as well..though it was really killing me not to msg or anything...it was tough to get distracted...
Send her off to bedok and I realised tat my EZ link card got like demagnetized or something and I was like force to pay cash for the bus...like every usual time tat I am force to pay cash, the bus conductor came up and check my ticket..tsk..I came out with some location to fit the fare tat I paid but he didnt even bother to ask...which was in a way good for me I guess..
Met up with Defeng and got humiliated by some unbelieveable score line...SO not me lar..I so need to play more pool..Things tat used to be wat I am only good at...I Cannot take this kind of insult esp from defeng lor..I need to take some time to play more...Pool anyone?
Matter of fact, I jus realised tat I super miss basketball as well...the drive...the rush..the feel of the perfect pass when the ball leaves ur finger...Priceless..I need my rush back...time to hit more hoops as well...
Walk ard a little and caught sight En Hui at where esle buy BakerInz...Pass her the stuffs tat I jus got from my super unfruitful shopping trip and hoped tat would have cheer her up a little..so much for my "NG DAy"...I dun think tat it would actually be possible to have such a day anyway...oh well..
Here's to the night we Felt alive..so are u the now or never kind?
Can't remember the last time I slept so little and felt so Sober.
The sense of everything going outta control while the world continues to be spinning with no signs of exit. All so familiar. Maybe this is me. The part of me that I refuse to admit existed. The part of me that would taste the sudden bitterness at the side of the tonuge due to the lost of words. The unfamiliar rational processing that stops working.It feels new and fresh every time and yet I swear it has happened more than once.Than again it always fades to black shortly and the only possible way to track back where I have been would only be the scar that appears around now and then.It happens and I swear he is always around.
Breathe.Its gone again.
Sometimes I am so sick of the many persona that I have to carry and rather unawaringly make myself carry.I reckon that the primary discovery of these multiple personality or perphaps even the genisis of these personnel creations within me originated through postitive and negative experiences if and when,with or without results that attaches along.The system takes in events and through logic processing, creates the "right thing to do"impression,at and towards the possible situation.The words to use and general direction of presentation then is determind and the characteristic, or to be even more pictorial,the enitre new person is created.The data and attribute of this particular character is archived and sorted in several genres to be used or activated when needs to.
The existance of such certain personas is usually not only strongly driven by logic. The thought and input together with over consideration for the well being of the other party or over the entire situation would create a persona that maybe less favoured.That would be logic.
For example,
The lack of concrete decision making or indecisiveness does not always mean to be a flaw in personality.To be more exact,the nature and classification of that particular characteristic is indeed always very subjective to situation. The Operating System or logic understanding, which is gulity for not being able to make choices may be due to the understanding,study and finally the reading and perception of the issue.
The sad and unattractive truth about it all is that it happens all the time within me,without me having a choice of it.
Almost automatic.
In respond,
The over study and concern for the possible "ideal outcome" in the long run of the situation would decide on a certain answer or rather the "right thing to do." This would almost than be challenge immediatelly by the raw nature of demanding and wanting something so bad without the caring of the results.That would usually be the urge and calling that drives romantic decision.Thinking with the heart,as many literal artist would love to exalt.The carefree and hippy style of living today and facing tomorrow only when it comes is always so attractive isnt it?The heart however is so complex to understand that there is usually no raional in doing anything that follows it.
I am sick of always controling or rahter be control by these moral dilemmas.I do understand that in order to create or add sentimental value, which is usually deem as intangible, we must make decision that would be in the extent of sacrifice. If only the sacrifice was one way, this decision would be so effortless and I am sure that I am willing to take anything that comes along. The contridiction would come in when the decision would also takes into the consideration of sacrificing the other party, which I am not sure I am willing to.They are also due to thier opions and reading of the situation.
I hate it and thus I choose to deny the exisitance of conflicting personas.Hoping that after burying it somewhere one will die eventually.There after, I would be able to make choices which are one sided. Through only logic or illogic.
The desired is always hard to achieve by as the truth would always find you in a way.
It would be easier if I could just stay. I will not hesitate. but I can't stay or Can I?
Behold this night, still and clear You look here just like an angel sleeping I wish I could ease your fears I would catch the diamond tears you're weeping In your eyes I would hide By your side I could defy The forces tearing us apart But reality, as it seems Looking back, is that our dream Was fated from the start
Girl we're star-crossed and can't escape We're condemned and can only wait At this time now it's far too late To save us from our fate
I'll remain in your hold Body, mind, heart and soul As long as I breathe Though consequence takes its toll All is out of our control That's how it will be So close your eyes my young bride Listen to me one last time There's something I have to say When your faith turns to despair Always will my love be there And never fade away
Girl we're star-crossed and can't escape We're condemned and can only wait At this time now it's far too late To save us from our fate You can't save us You can't save us
Girl we're star-crossed and can't escape We're condemned and can only wait At this time now it's far too late The poison's in our veins It's true You know that I'd die for you You know that I'd die for you You know that I'd die for you
Forever true I'll see you through
Play with e majestic @ 2:37 AM
Marv.
*Is and forever will be amazed by Mayday
*Enjoys the moment as he breaks away into his world created by pure imagination
*Is buried in Brisbane
*Should stop thinking abt getting new shoes
*Needs to learn to start breathing again
*looking forward to the day where he puts back the stars
Evidence of Silence
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