.::80::.
abt me..

 I feed on Ego.
 
Yup been a fact to me ever since i left sec 4. i practically survive and live on my EGO... Ego freak? tat is an understatement my fren...u can thus imagine the effect a negative comment could happen on me...I will prove myself to be so different from tat negative comment tat some times i even amaze myself..
 
it doesnt always fall to plan however, as first impressions are sometime pretty hard or even never meant to be changed...resulting in failure to satisfy the monster tat is trapped within me.Tsk.

Perfectionist?

Yes I would think so.. Seriously i would have a standard for all things that i do and i will not be satisfied till that standard is some how or other met... of cos not all things could be made prefect rite? we are not god of our own kind..there is a limit we all can acheieve but falling short of wat i imagine it to be is just so undesirable...Like a splinter deeply inserted in ur toe.. a new rash on ur hand tat u sooo need to stop scratching on.. A new pimple tat u know ur not suppose to squeeze..
 
Everything would be fine if tat is my only problem...the fact tat i am all on ego actually leads me to being very sensitive to judgement...i mean most of my frenz would jus ignore it and get on with life..
 
"ya tat's an asshole...jus get on with ur life..forget abt it..."
 
not me..i cant do tat..i would have to dwell on the cricticism and find ways to counter it..like who is she to know wat i have done...does he or she even know wat they are toking abt...ya if ur so great why dont u ......so on..so forth..
 
I think tat is actually stopping me from learning from my weakness..my failure to idenfy and work on my weakness has stop me from being someone better....I so gotta change my way of thinking...too critical... too self centered....wat a jerk....
 
I need to be humble.
 
tats rite..tat would be my plan from now on...wat spark off this inspiration to write something like tat again? if u notice my few posts now adays are all soooooo boring....wat else could make me wanna write soemthing tat is of my usual style?
 
Sex and the city.
 
I saw this episode on HBO just now of carrie being so sensitive abt being judge and over soemthing really simple..as i watched on..i realised tat is sooo me... i would really irratate my frenz by keep on asking them if it is true hoping tat the ans is otherwise..at the end of the day, she realised tat the only one judging her was herself and she was the one beening the most crictical..well tat is me...
 
time to eat the humble pie..join me? =)

.::79::.
Poly days revent..
 
Today was really like the good old days..played some pool which we didnt do for like a realllllllllly long time...=) had lots of fun...remember in the poly days we would play pool almost everyday of the week...it has really been long..the table at monsta is still the best...nice cue, nice balls...nice shots..
 
Met up with the rest of the gang with thanks to jord van and had lots of fun traveling ard ..went to newton for dinner and for the first time in all of our trip there we didnt order stingray..hahah..dunno y but everyone didnt feel like eating it..i was pretty alrite with it lar..since there was already a feast on the table...real cool...~ =)
 
When for tao hua after tat at...Selegi? not very sure abt the spelling lar..but it was not too bad lar..was suppose to go home after tat but jord wanted to go eat wind with his car so like who were we to stop him..hehehz.. the few of us went to jalan kayu there to drink tea and stuff where jord and emily tried the paper prata...had lots of fun playing...oh there was this cute girl there too..hahahaa...
 
Defeng is going into police tmr morning..again another kaki gone...tsk tsk..so quiet now...without defeng's purpose of life..hahahaa...

.::78::.
Quiet..
 
"law of diminishing returns: As a firm uses more of a variable inout with a given quantity of other inpus(fixed inputs), the marginal product of the variable input eventually diminishes..."
 
I think its really starting to kick in...having a busy poly life with jord and folks makes the quiet all so terrible..i think i am like dying in boredom or something..I look at my fren who does not really go out as often as i do and he is prefectly satisfied "resting" and doing nothing at home...(trying my best to avoid the N and S word as YOu do not like it...) ya...so like now...even if i have an activity, it would require even more to keep me entertained...haiyo...i think i need to lead a simple life now...farmer or something...back to nature and stuff...i think i lost my point again...
 
I went to order Jay new CD today...well as I pass by the CD shop and saw it so i thought might as well lar...i mean for the last 4 albums he had i didnt really spend a dime on his music so feel kind of gulity ya...must support good music occasionally..if not they wont be able to make better music for the future rite..hehz...tat sounds alittle cliche but yeah...i ordered it already..it would be coming on the 3rd i think...
 
I finally finish watching the last season of friends....actually i d/l it a looooong time ago..but as everyone was leaving and the last season was all abt parting..i decided to take my share of parting one at ago...ya..its always sad to part but i think for the bigger picture all is fine ya.. i mean i would rather frenz ended on a high then to be cancelled due to losuy response or something...
 
Seems like everyone who left are more or less settled in thier respective areas..glad ya..everyone is safe..tat is the most impt issue yeah..
 
sometimes i would just sit back and marvel at the miracle of fate...brining diff ppl from diff background to a common place so tat we would meet and form bonds tat are so strong tat even when we go our seperate ways, there would always be a part of our frens tat we carry along with us...Growing together and helping each other develope our characters.....cool eh...
 
I feel so messed up rite now...i need to sit down and straighten out all my thoughts..yes tat is so wat i gotta do...
 
 

.::77::.
Coffee,Tea or me?..
 
Had lunch session with Ms koh today..havent been back in Ngee Ann for ages and it does feel a little bit different..there were no more familar faces around the block..no more "commoners" under the umbrella tat everyone would know by name...no more familiar ppl calling out ur name as u approach the canteen...hehz..guess we have all grown up now eh..
 
Lunch was fantastic and it wasn't too expensive...well ms koh paid for it but it was something tat we could pretty much afford as well lar.. 3 course lunch tat was really very satisfying.. a little on the heavy side though...hehz...
 
Ms koh nv fails to amaze me with wat she has to teach us...all her life experiences and experiences from her ex- students were really very encouraging for young growing lads like us who are seeking for opportunities in our working life..she always seem to be so knowledgeable with everything tat is happening around the world...even in Ngee Ann..hehz..
 
Have to agree with her tat Singaporeans are less brave to attempt something new and totally out of the block...how many singaporeans can really just survive on their own without the aids of thier parents? ok i see some eager hand rising up to shut me up...how abt alone in a foreign land without any money from ur parents wat so ever? how many of us are willing to leave our comfortable shelter and work to literally feed himself?
 
Heard from a friend tat Bill Gates would not be passing any money to his son as he would want his son to actually work for himself and not reply on the empire tat is build up by his father..dun really think tat would happen in singapore now seriously..we are too pampered? think abt our grandfathers and great grandfathers who just came to singapore not knowing wat to expect and end up starting up thier very own business? are we brave enough or "grown up" enought to do tat?
 
I believe in a very simple theory of life..tat when a rat is forced to a corner by his greatest nemesis for example a cat, he would for his own survivor put up his last fight to prevent himself from death...putting his nature aside and stepping up to accomplished wat may seem to be impossible...but how many of us here are really able to be in such situations?
 
singapore is too fine of a city to leave but as being so, it has created a market tat is very saturated in any business tat is reasonably profitable. Therefore how we look at things and how differently we can present our "talents" would be the key factor to how much success we could achieved. 
 
Look at the GMs and big shot of the MNC in singapore..forget the aliens tat are shipped in to provide a different prospective for the company, look at the locals who are at the top of the ladder? what makes them different? education? luck? I would think is the way the do things or simply the way they think..According to Ms koh, its the general knowledge of a person...pretty true i would guess mean how much u notice and know abt this world would set the borders to ur train of thoughts...if u live in a well all ur life, would u really be expected to build a car or create Wheels?
 
I have a good fren which i would would identify to be very successfulin perphaps 10 years time..no he is not very smart in his studies but watever he touches seem to turn into gold..by going through the exact education system as him for the most of my life, i would classify him to be a totally different "level" as me..more resposible, more socialable and thus more successful..
 
In summary i realised tat most successful ppl tat i see tat are around my age zone are all equipped with the following qualities..
 
1.responisible and mature way of handling simple day to day situations
2.Good PR skills.
3.Responsive to changes
4.Strong ability to adapt to unfamiliar enviroment
5.Drive and Enthu in all things they do...
 
gosh this must be a real messy blog eh..but hey these are some stuffs tat i discovered after oberserving all my "successful" buddies...I Got so much to learn...but i wont give up..
 
Life is tough..but no one ever said it was created to be a bed of Roses.. 
 

.::76::.

A guys game..
 
Well today was pretty alrite lar..i went to gym to train up a little..then after tat went to shoot some hoops..heh..kind of tired but it was really fun..did some highlights of the day by myself..really like tat feeling of tat...=)
 
but then came a group of guys who were really tall and started to play more towards the zone if u understand wat i mean lar..then as usual it got a little more aggressive and this guy almost fell after doing a layout..tsk tsk...hot atmosphere after tat and more fouls came running in...but if u wanna play in the zone u gotta be prepared for this rite? with all tat said it was really fun playing basketball.. contact sports roxxx hehz...

.::76::.

Pain..head..pain..

Lets start..i got this terrible headache that came from no where and anyone who is bugging me withing an arms length away is in great danger of being hopistalised..

With tat in mind..PJ is gone...awww... leaving at ard 45 mins pass 8, the most faithful fan of c4 entered the gates of the departure hall last night...With tears, hugs and the entire package, her bid her farewell to a crowd consisting of ppl from almost all generations and all walks of life ard her.. a Clear sign of what a popular girl she was during her days in the merlion town...ya she will be back during december but i dun really think i would be ard lehz...would be training in some island far away while she celebrate her vacation at home...sounds weird eh..vacation at home..hmmm? ya so it would be really a while till i see her i guess...sad...

On a ligther note to balance up, i bought a pair of running shoes today..yeah!~...itz the shox series..yeah the Boing one... cos i dun like the air bubble in normal running shoe as once the air is gone the shoe will be unbalance like my prev pair...so yeah took some time to choose and got this pair of white one..which my mum say tat i sooo will get it dirty..but i dun really care..hehez..itz mine~

Sinec i was in queensway, i wanted to get the holland jersey tat i all so wanted during the euro season but there was only one left and it was printed with..Van der Vaart... of all the players in dutch they had to print the one tat i didnt like the most..sort of like a bingo eh...so in the end i didnt get the holland one and got the england long slevees instead..it was nice as it was reversible and stuff.. so yeah...wasted more $ of mummy..hehz..

So need to train up
so need to get a life
so need to plan abt my future...
go marvin..jus go...

Play with e majestic @
12:34 AM